What are you looking for?

If you don’t know what you are looking for you are never going to find it.

Conversely, if you know what you are looking for then you are definitely going to find it.

Have you ever been in a situation where as soon as you become acquainted with a thing, for example a car, you begin to see the exact make everywhere you go. You can suddenly make it out of many other cars in traffic.

This happens not because the car, in the case of this example, has not always been there but because your mind has just become aware of its existence. You have subconsciously instructed your mind that it is important to you. Obviously, if we noticed everyone and every single thing we’d be going insane.

The point here (I’m sure you are starting to wonder what it is) is that we can harness this ability of the mind. How? you might ask. By focusing only on the things we want to achieve.

They say ‘if you do not know where you are going, every bus-stop will be a destination’ (the quote isn’t exact but you get the idea). Like a great photographer (hence the picture, look up if you missed it the first time), who handles his lens very well, we can capture the exact picture of what we want while ‘blurring’ everything else.

We can either continue to go around in circles or we can clearly define our goals and focus our energies on them. Everything else is noise.

As you focus, you will begin to find the right people and resources required to achieve your goal.

When you ask the right questions you are bound to get the right answers.

The Pocket Square

The use of handkerchiefs and pocket squares as an accessory is an old practice that dates back to the 800’s. Today, they are more popular than ever, with many dashing men adding a pocket square to their outfits.

I recently caught on the pocket square statement.

I call it a ‘statement’ because that is exactly what it is. Before I discovered this beautiful piece of male fashion statement, I only admired anyone and everyone who used them. I could not see myself wearing one because I believed only sophisticated people wore them.

Pocket squares speak sophistication.

They are more than mere pocket fillers or the odd handkerchief we use to clean dust off our shoes or dry our hands.

Here are 3 reasons why pocket squares are a fantastic accessory and why you should use them.

A pocket square introduces you. 

Walk into a room wearing a nicely cut double-breasted suit spotting a beautiful pocket square. If you get the combo right (we will talk about this next) You need no introduction. Your appearance will speak boss, sophistication and respect.

Use the right colour and pattern to your advantage

Color coordinate your pocket square with you shirt or tie or even your socks. There are many rules out there on how one should coordinate colors. To be safe, use secondary colors from your shirt and or tie as your primary pocket square color. Your pocket square can give you amazing contrast and if you get it right, you will not go unnoticed.

Tip: Use contrasting colors to your advantage. In this case below, blue stripped shirt matches navy blue and purple patterned pocket square.

Pocket Squares are versatile

Pocket squares can quite easily become an art. They can be formal or informal, flamboyant or conservative, personal or generic. You can choose how you want to use them and create your unique personal each time. Pocket squares can add a touch of flair to a top button open shirt and blazer combination for example.

There are many things to consider if you really want to get into pocket squares. Folds, material and patterns are some many considerations. Personally, I stick to linen, a conservative ‘bubble’ fold and love paisley and polka dot patterns.

 

 

As already mentioned they are statements and are no ordinary accessory. They are powerful dress tools. I constantly search for deals on pocket squares and find Eden Vogue to have some unique pocket squares.

 

 

Why I stopped saying “…but that’s just me”

Very often when we make our opinion known we end it with the phrase “…but that’s just me“.

To me, and that’s just me by the way, it reeks of a lack of confidence or truthfulness.

I find that a lot of times we shroud our uncertainty, even our evasion of responsibility, in the phrase.

Also, it conveys lack of assertiveness in a professional setting. I’ve never taken a statement that ends with “that’s just me” seriously.

What we could be really saying is “don’t take what I say as gospel truth, I could be wrong for all you know” or “Here’s what I’m saying but I cannot take the responsibility if things go awry“.

We can choose to take responsibility for what we say and what opinions we bring forward and the simple way of doing this is by choosing to only opine what we are reasonably confident about. Ok, that might not be so simple.

Another suggestion is to fully accept responsibility for the consequences of our opinions if they are to be taken seriously.

It’s like poker, you either know absolutely what you are doing and saying or you confidently act like you know what you are doing and you may not. If, in the latter case, your bluff is called, then you are ready to bear the consequences.

One word “man-up”.

What I now choose to say is “In my opinion…” or “My advice is…“.

My advice is that, in a world where perception is everything, if we are to be perceived seriously and command the respect of others in the process then we must be careful to project the persona we want perceived. In my opinion, that should be one of confidence.

 

Why this debate is not just about Tithing

¹⁴ In the temple courts he found people selling cattle, sheep and doves, and others sitting at tables exchanging money. ¹⁵ So he made a whip out of cords, and drove all from the temple courts, both sheep and cattle; he scattered the coins of the money changers and overturned their tables. ¹⁶ To those who sold doves he said, “Get these out of here! Stop turning my Father’s house into a market!” ¹⁷ His disciples remembered that it is written: “Zeal for your house will consume me.”^[c]

John 2:14-16 NIV

The typical African

Three lone survivors were stuck on an island after their plane crashed. An African, a Chinese man and a Brit. They had no way of communicating to the outside world and all they had was their wit. The African man prayed day and night for a miraculous rescue, the Chinese man wrote prayer verses, packaged them well with the materials at his disposal, sold them to the African man in exchange for whatever piece of technology he had. The Brit swore at the weather and blamed the government for not preventing the crash. Needless to say, the Chinese, putting together technology eventually reached out for rescue.

To illustrate the psyche of the African further, let me continue with a description of the relationship between desire and results. The road to results and success is a journey. For the purpose of this write-up, it begins with a clear picture of our desired destination fuelled by purposeful action and ends with the desired results. Agreed, it is more complex than that however, the longest process in the equation is the process of purposeful action.

You see, when you want to get fruits, you plant a seed. But you just don’t plant a seed and go to sleep, you nurture your seed, watering it and taking out weed until it becomes a tree and bears fruit.

This is where the typical African struggles. For some reason, he believes he is exempt from this process. He is therefore mesmerised by promises of instant results for little or no effort. Whoever or whatever means that provides this shortcut; religion, bribery, fraud, a clergyman, robbery, magic gets his devotion – even worshipped as his god.

Where did all the fish go

Luke 5:1-6

Simon and friends were fishermen. It was just another day of work trying very hard to make a good catch.

But that day wasn’t just their day. It seemed as if the fish were always one step ahead. All the old tricks did not work and just when they were about to call it quits something happened…

Jesus had been teaching people on shore and the place began to get too crowded. He needed a vantage point from where he could teach without the pushing and shoving of the crowd…

Jesus had a need.

Simon had a boat.

Two boats were at the waters’ edge but Jesus chose to climb into Simon’s boat and he asked Simon to pull into the sea.

Simon obeyed

Once Jesus had reached a fair distance in the sea he continued teaching. After he finished teaching he instructed Simon to let down his net for a catch.

Naturally, Simon complained and reminded Jesus that they had been at this pretty much all day.

“but at your word, I will let down my net”

And there was a huge catch, so much that they required help bringing the catch into the boat. Both boats were so full and began to sink.

Where did all that fish come from?

Where man’s effort ends, God’s grace starts.

When we make ourselves and our resources available to God, He is bound to ‘compensate’ us.

The big catch had nothing to do with:

1. How hard they tried – human effort.
2. The amount of fish in the sea (where were they when Peter was fishing?)

Rather it was a result of the combination of Simon’s faith (not works, Gal. 3:10-14), his obedience to Jesus’ instruction/direction and the supernatural power of God.

When faith manifests as obedience, in the presence of  the supernatural power of God, breakthroughs happen.

26 July -Be who you were created to be! — Dayle’s Blog

Our youngest son Isaac has been writing a story or narrative. He wrote about being in a rodeo and researched what that looked like so that he could get a picture in his mind to then express in words. The writing of his story involved him running around the lounge with a rope made into […]

via 26 July -Be who you were created to be! — Dayle’s Blog

Top Interview Tips

The time will come every once in a while when one begins to consider a new career path or opportunity. We dust our CVs, update and polish it and begin sending it out in anger.

It feels a bit like ‘hit or miss’. We get some favourable responses back, some decline, others ignore. We land a few interviews and things get really serious now. We’ve managed to grab the attention of our potential employer. Here are some tips for preparing for interviews:

1. Identify the need:

Every job advert is really a cry for help! The employer has a need and is looking for someone to help them meet that need. Believe it or not, it is not charity – they are not looking for someone to make rich.

The opportunity here is to clearly identify what that need is and also clearly link your skills and offerings to meeting that need. If you cannot match your skills and experience to the need (aka job description) then there is no point applying for the role in the first place. However, beyond the job description, as not all employer needs are clearly articulated, is the real (which is often more important) need. These will often come up during the interview and some examples of these are:

• They need someone to start asap as the last guy just quit.
• They need someone to shave some work load off the boss.

During the interview, you must be able to demonstrate that you are competent and able to meet those needs based on your demonstrable skills and past experience.

2.Know your worth:

They need you as much, if not more than, you need them.

After you have identified the need and clearly understood and demonstrated how you can meet them, you need to know what you and your offerings are worth.

Websites like Glassdoor provide salaries for different roles and industries.

The dreaded question “What are your salary expectations?” could be asked and “I work for free” is not a viable response. It’s best to give a range and this should be a fair, neither greedy nor overtly modest, estimation of what you are worth. You can read about how to increase your worth here How to increase your worth – Part 1.

3. Research the Role and Company

Questions like these should be considered when doing your research:

• What is the organogram like? Who are my colleagues and who will I be reporting to or who will be my reportees?  Use Linkedin but make sure you use it in stealth mode.
• What is the company culture? Pace (fast-paced or slow-paced and laid back). Family orientated or they would like you to have no work-life balance for example. Culture of blame or guilt? Open or closed door policy, approachable leadership?
• Will I have all the tools I need to effectively and efficiently carry out my job, delivering stellar results?
• Benefits and compensation: What are the additional benefits? Bonus, holiday pay, private medical care, childcare vouchers, staff nursery etc, international rotation/staff placement, mentoring, car allowance, phone allowance, training?
• Location: easy commute, relocation required, parking availability, proximity to bus/train station or airport?

4. Practice tough interview questions

One can simply not be over prepared for an interview. The stars may align and it might turn out to be a walk in the park but what happens if it does not turn out that way?

Glassdoor also provides a collection of interview questions by company. Tough Interview Questions and Answers also provides questions and answers to touch interview questions.

In conclusion: Smashing that interview is a great feeling. To get that feeling requires a certain level of preparation. This list is not exhaustive but provides a minimum. Do drop a line if you have any comments or questions.

 

How to increase your worth – Part 1

“So much depends on reputation…guard it with your life” – 48 Laws of Power

Whether you own a business or as an individual, it is important that you are known for something – that you stand for something.  This is the value you as a person, brand or business provides to others. Now, let me explain why.

You are probably the only one who really and truly knows who you are and what you are fully capable of. Other people can only have perceptions of you. They can only assess your capability based on their observations of you.

These perceptions are either consciously or subconsciously re-inforced by you. The perception people have of you can be used to your advantage. You can control how you want to be perceived.

The best brands are those that have identified ways they want to be perceived and do everything to make sure only these are projected.

Here are a few reasons why you should be known for something:

1.What you are known for, hereafter referred to as your reputation for individuals and brand for businesses or both, speaks for you in your absence.

“This action is not consistent with Jack. I have known him for a long time now and I am certain he could not have done this.” Ever said something along these lines in someone’s defence?

2.You can only be remembered for something different and unique. Your strong reputation or brand can do this for you.

Quality, punctuality, well-mannered, helpful, resourceful, knowledgeable, great sense of humour, these are some positive vibes we consciously or subconsciously project and what we can easily be remembered for.

3.Your brand or reputation can be monetized. How? Let me explain.

“No one will ever pay you what you are worth, they will pay you what they think you are worth” But guess what? You control their thinking.

You are employed for what you have to offer. This could be your ability to solve problems, to produce quality products, great organising skills etc. These ‘skills’ which you may have either intentionally or unintentionally built over the years have become your reputation; what you are known for and these are what you are paid for.

It behoves therefore to hone these skills, package them nicely and strongly associate them with your personality. Constantly projecting the image that you know your stuff, deliver value and are therefore indispensable.

Continued in Part 2

 

 

When time stood still…

Time and how to effectively manage it is probably the most talked on subject in business and personal development circles.

The reason being that we are all allotted the same amount (at least in a day irrespective of different time zones in different parts of the world) but the results of its use are widely different.

Besides, the common cliché ‘time is money’ suggests that time does have the same value as money. Some might argue that time is even more valuable than money since you can regain lost money but time lost is never re-gained.

So why does it seem some people have more time than others? Why does it seem like time stands still for some and for others they seem not to have enough. Some seem to be able to achieve much more  than others within the same period of time available to both sets.

This is where time management comes in. Here are some tips for effective time management:

1. Plan your tomorrow today: Make a clear plan of what you want to do a day before hand. Time can be likened to water passing through the cracks in a rock in the sense that time which is not allotted can very easily be lost to ‘valueless’ activities.
2. Be resourceful – Delegate: While you might think that you are Superman or Superwoman and you can do everything yourself there are a lot of activities which can be delegated. Avoid the trap of micro-managing too. Find competent persons to handle things you are comfortable giving up. If you find that you are not comfortable delegating anything to anyone around you then there is a problem 😉
3. Have a clear vision: You are not likely going to get to a destination you don’t know. Your vision informs your goals and your goals informs your activities. If you have a clear vision, it is more than likely that you will engage in more activities which are valuable to the vision.
4. Be disciplined: While this is not a pleasant topic, time management requires discipline. I do not propose an obsession with doing all tasks strictly within the allotted time as time management implies the ability to manage and direct time and not vice versa. That said, if you do not allot time, it will go out of control.
5. Invest your time: If indeed time is money and you can invest money then you can invest time. Invest your time in activities that you bring reward in future. A great way to invest your time is in activities such as reading, building relationships, networking amongst others.
6. Prioritize your activities: Do the most important things first. Enough said.
7. Do it now! Putting things off can seem convenient but is a recipe for disaster. Procrastination is a thief of time as bad investments are a ‘money eater’. Do something, no matter how small, daily towards your overall vision and objective. It’s amazing what difference 365 days can make if we engage in valuable activities.

Have you personally got any time management hacks you would like to share? Use comment field below.

 

What is wisdom?

Wisdom is the right application of knowledge.
The ability to use the knowledge you have to solve a problem constitutes wisdom.
The knowledge we possess on a subject or person is only useful when it is applied positively.
Don’t be the one who is constantly going on courses and signing up to training acquiring knowledge but never really putting it to use.
Knowledge is one thing and putting knowledge to work for your benefit and/or those of others is another thing – Wisdom
Wisdom is not learnt in school, knowledge is.

Wisdom is a gift, I believe this with all of my heart. Wisdom comes with experience. While knowledge is common, wisdom is not.
The bridge between knowledge and wisdom is understanding.
Get wisdom.

Never give up (short read)

No one who has made it very far gave up at the first hurdle.

Recently, I’ve felt like giving up on a lot of things.

I’ve asked myself again and again “what’s the point of it all?”.

Why can’t everything just work out the way they’re supposed to – with ease.

“Why can’t everything just be alright?” I ask myself.

You see, hurdles are meant to bring out the best in us. They are meant to bring out our creativity.

I find that when I do not allow myself to be overwhelmed by the magnitude of the hurdle ,and focus on overcoming it, my mind becomes open to ways and means of getting ahead.

They key here is the virtue of persistence. The ability to continue in a course irrespective of obstacles and set-backs.

Whether it is the journey to lose weight, to start a business, to mend a broken relationship, to be a blogger or to get to the olympics, the same principle applies; if you persist and don’t give up, you will get there.

2,017 things to be thankful for…

L-R: Valerie, Tiffany and Ivy

The year 2017 has been an amazing year for my family with the best part left for last; the arrival of our twin girls in November.

In May 2017 we became aware that we were having twins and the discovery rocked my world to say the least. I went through a circle of denial, anxiety, acceptance and finally, gratitude. My wife, on the other hand, was ecstatic because she had always wanted twins.

Denial because, if it were entirely up to us, we wanted two children (a boy and a girl – we had one girl already) and no more – with the twins we now have three.

Anxiety because suddenly we needed more room and more resources.

I went through a process and eventually came to the acceptance of God’s sovereign will, plan and purpose.

I finally became grateful because the Giver of good gifts honoured and found us capable foster parents of not one but two of His precious children.

When I finally accepted God’s will and was filled with gratitude, I began experiencing joy.

Today, I cradle my daughters in my hand and I recognise the hand of God in our lives. The things I worried about like safe delivery, more room and resources are no longer causes of concern.

Hears to a fabulous 2018!