It’s okay if you fall…

It’s not okay if you remain there…

I remember a time when I beat myself up whenever I made a mistake or did something wrong. I would remain bitter for hours even days. This led to me being constantly on my toes, meticulously crossing every ‘T’ and dotting every ‘I’. I felt even worse if my ‘error’ was discovered and pointed out by someone else. ‘How could I make such a mistake?’, ‘What will people think of me?’.

I was very hard on myself.

The fear of falling even prevented me from taking action. I would rather maintain my flawless record than taint it with failure. No action was as important to me as my stainless record.

This high and lofty status gradually morphed into pride. It seemed to me I had attained a state of perfection – as long as I kept within my boundaries, with no failure, I was fine, self-sufficient and above others.

Boy was I wrong.

Reality hit me in the face when, having put everything under control, the one thing that was out of my control happened bringing down the whole plan.

I wept…

And I had a mental re-configuration.

Perfection is simply unattainable. This is the harsh reality. It is a mirage.

Over the years I have come to terms with the reality that I am not perfect and ,equally important, other people are not either. I still have high expectations of myself but have learnt not to push myself too hard. I have even less expectations from others having learnt from experience that using my lofty scales of perfectionism to assess others simply leads to constant heartaches.

I have learnt that it is okay to fall. Yes it is! This is how your learn to stand, and walk and run!

It’s not okay if you remain there…